Hanging Out With the Guys

Grant and Spencer Flindt arrived in SLC August 21 to spend a week helping their Flindt grandparents renovate a house in Heber City.

We spent Wednesday evening with them at Red Iguana II, eating enchiladas and burritos and marveling at their social skills. Spencer and Grant were poised and charming, making conversation with their Grandma and Grandpa Spendlove and Uncle Mike as if they were far older and more sophisticated than their 13 and 15 years.

We decided Spencer and Grant qualified as "gentlemen" already, and needed some gentlemen's clothes. We took them home to sift through Michael's racks of Nordstrom buys, and their Grandpa's vintage collection of T-shirts, to choose a few school outfits.

The "I Voted for That One" Obama shirt got no takers.

Chinese Lace and Sally's Fishwiches

I flew to Oakland for the wedding of my niece, Mari Calder. As long as I was in the Bay Area, I checked into "America's Best Inn," near Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. The morning of Mari's 3 p.m. wedding, I walked seven miles, up and down San Francisco's hills. I passed Victorian homes swathed in bouganvillea, and I passed Coit Tower.

I walked down the crookedest street in the world, Lombard.

I walked on, into North Beach. I stopped at the Cathedral and went to mass.

In Washington Square, across from the cathedral, the area's Chinese residents practiced tai chi.

I have learned from my Flindt grandchildren to keep my eyes open for the "dog of the day." This ball of fur won the prize.

In North Beach, the delis sold dozens of brands of olive oil and Italian sausage.

A moment later, I was in Chinatown, peeking through windows at barbecued duck, and examining strange produce and Chinese herbs.

I found fabulous bargains on Chinese lace tablecloths...

and I loved the ambience of the Chinese stores.

I then walked to the top of Nob Hill. I saw the Fairmont Hotel, where Dave and I stayed long ago as I attended a legal conference (and my law firm paid the bill).

I walked inside Grace Cathedral and admired its stained glass windows.

I checked out the trolleys...

and visited the Trolley Car Museum, where the equipment running the trolleys is stored.

Back at Fisherman's wharff, it was time for a break, with a Sally's fishwich.

One lunch was not enough. I also ordered lobster bisque at one of the many food stalls on the Wharf.

I moseyed past fishin boats...

and then Ghiradelli Square.

Mari and John

Mari Calder and John Montague got married August 21 in a chapel on the lush grounds of the University of California at Berkeley, where they both graduated as lawyers. Grandma Calder would have loved to attend, but we assumed she was there in spirit. The wedding was held at Grandma's alma mater. She got her Ph.D at Berkeley in the early 1940s.

It was a most American wedding, with a wonderful mix of cultures. John's relatives, the Montagues, are from Virginia. They arrived in Jamestown from England in 1621. John's family lives in Charlottesville, Virginia, home of Thomas Jefferson, where his whole family attended the University of Virginia. There was also a Utah Mormon contingent at the wedding, including Scott and Jean, David and Vanessa Calder...

my cousin, Camilla, her husband, George Smith, and I. The Smiths and David and Vanessa Calder now live in San Francisco.

Camilla and George were the first ones to welcome Toshiko, Mari, and Ryan to America when they arrived from Japan so many years ago. "We're here for ballast," Camilla laughed--and they did add number and importance to our small Calder family. Then, there were two of Mari's Masamura cousins from Tokyo, and many Anglo and Asian friends of John and Mari from Berkeley (U Cal/Berkeley has half Asian students).

Kent, the usually rumpled professor, looked more spiffy at the wedding than Scott and I had ever seen him.

The bridesmaids and groomsmen gathered on both sides of the altar.

Then the families of the bride and groom filed in--John with the pastor, Dr. Kim, from Princeton; John's parents and grandparents; and, finally, Mari, with Kent on one arm and Toshiko on the other. Mari gave Kent one last hug before taking her marriage vows.

She was so beautiful.

One touching part of the wedding was "honoring the parents," when Kent and Toshiko and the Montagues each stood and were recognized for their love and devotion in raising Mari and John.

Then, John and Mari read their part of the wedding service and were pronounced man and wife.

The wedding party filed out of the chapel--the bridesmaids and groomsmen, Mari's and John's parents, and John's grandparents.

It was picture time on the lawn, with the Montagues...

and then the Calders.

Ryan brought with him a fellow Berkeley grad student, who specialized in Russian affairs. "I think she's just a friend," Kent and Mari both speculated.

It was party time afterwards at the stylish Bancroft Hotel. We had a great dinner and then John and Mari cut the cake (actually, a fruit tart).

Ryan gave a 10-minute toast to Mari and John that was as witty as a Jay Leno monologue.

And then the whole crowd danced.

When it got late, Toshiko gave Camilla, George and me a fond good-by, entrusted the wedding flowers to George (since he and Camilla live in San Francisco), and I drove back with the Smiths across the Bay to my Fisherman's Wharf motel (deceivingly named "America's Best Inn").